2.10.2005 [early evening.]

as seen on email...

feel free to ignore this.

so most/all of you probably know i recently splurged out massively and acquired myself an acura NSX. last saturday, actually. and since then, i've been OBSESSING over it. making up excuses to drive it at the drop of a dime, etc. i've already put 400 miles on it in about as many days; and that's with me trying to hold back. if i didn't, i think i'd already have like 1200+ miles on it.

anyway, i was driving it today, and i had a sudden revelation:

this car? is like a GIRL. a HIGH MAINTENANCE bitch. high maintenance asian one for that matter -- appropriately, since so many sleekly beautiful asian girls seem to be. beg pardon, those who are offended.

but anyway. is it not perfect?! behold:

1. she's sleekly beautiful. no bulging curves. oh no. just long, lean lines. not muscular (only 260hp) -- just light (less than 3000lbs, i think), and fast.

2. she's shiny and black-on-black.

3. has narrow, tilty, catty headlights.

4. she's an ACURA. honda? japan? yes.

and now for the high maintenance category:

5. gotta dress her well: her specialty roadgripping tires cost $200+ a pop, so that changing all four at once will result in nearly $1000 out the door, when you add in tax and service. and no, i am not changing her tires myself; if i have to have her hoisted up, i'll get a mechanic to do it. jacking her up might, well, jack up her undercarriage.
6. gotta wine and dine: she only takes premium gasoline, which is currently going for $2.25/gal CHEAPEST in san francisco. regular stuff isn't good enough for her, oh no. gotta feed her the dom perignon of gasolines. thank god 110 octane gasoline isn't available around here, or i'd be feeding her THAT.
7. gotta serve her hand and foot: she's got an obsessive hold over me where if there's a speck of dust on her perfect skin, i need to jump out with a chamois rag and wipe it off. ok, that's not true, but the dust and pollen (fucking spring.) on her right now has me running out and buying car wash materials by the bucket. see below...
8. gotta keep her pampered: can't just take her to the car wash when she gets dirty. gotta wash her myself. not because getting her professionally washed will set me back about $30 a pop (if i get the good wash... which, if i had to get her professionally washed, i will) -- but because i don't trust those bastards!!! they'd blow-dry her!! that'd ruin her lovely complexion!!! so, instead, i've already bought like $100 worth of car wash supplies. soap, sponges, wax, microfiber cleaning cloths, leather soap and conditioner, rim care products, tire car products... i still need to get rubber care and a good canister vacuum, because my current vacuum sucks ass. or actually, it doesn't suck -- that's the problem. oh shit, and i need chrome polish too for her tailpipe, etc.
9. and even more pampered: twice a year or so, she's gonna need to go for some heavy duty spa treatment. i.e., professional detailing.

10. gotta buy her blingbling: i'm already thinking of modding her up, and possibly giving the interior a little more of an expensive feel by putting in some subtle metal accentry.

no wonder she's got such a hold on me; i think i have a secret (or not so secret) weakness for high maintenance bitches who can take me for a wild ride -- or at least the idea of it. i think the actuality would drive me nuts. except when it's a car and not a woman. christ, i might as well never get a gf again. i'll just live to serve my high maintenance car.